Afterwhile…means not now, maybe later, by and by, sometime in the not-too-distant future. It’s not procrastination, really. It’s not denial. It’s more of a laid back way of saying “It’s on my mind. I won’t forget. But not now.”

When we are dealing with grief in the midst of the chaos of living, sometimes we have to box up memories, questions, issues, tasks, and put them away in a safe place in the back of our minds. We’ll take that box out and deal with everything “afterwhile.”

How long is “afterwhile”? It’s different for everyone. Some people manage the process on their own; some require professional help. And some wade through the memories, moving forward, then being tossed back to start all over again. 

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” The last line from The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Sometimes people get stuck in the current, back and forth, making progress, only to fall back into old habits, old memories, old regrets. That’s when we need to call for rescue. Rescue could be a good friend, a spiritual advisor, a support group, a book or podcast, or a professional psychologist or psychiatrist.

The Chambered Nautilus – a poem by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. – “…still, as the spiral grew, He left the past year’s dwelling for the new…”

The nautilus grows over time, building chambers, then closing them off when it’s time for growth. Over time, the nautilus creates a remarkable spiral of ever-increasing size, but anchored by its  beginnings. The nautilus can’t go back. The earlier chambers are closed and locked, but they are there, providing the foundation for future development.

Maybe we can learn from the nautilus. And, with that, I’ll end by saying, “I’ll be back … afterwhile.”

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